Goodbye Facebook

It was fun at first. I was found and friended. I delighted in gaining the attention of people I had forgot (old boyfriends, tenuous high school pals, the friend of a friend of a neighbor I barely knew).

But after my year-long stint, Facebook is now too much and not enough. Too much information and not enough substance.

I had to give it up: the status reports, the pithy replies, the clever repartee, the family photos, the incessant checking of other people's quizzes. I didn’t care really, but I couldn’t turn it off. Facebook became my tawdry tabloid, delivered all day, every day. I was an addicted voyeur.

I had real Facebook friends, to be sure. The same ones I telephone and email. For months, we crowded into the Facebook booth instead, sharing the high of fresh quips and bright banter. Just like in real life.

But Facebook glaringly confirmed what I already knew: I’m not a ‘social networker.’ I don’t have a 'platform.'

To be clear, I’m no Luddite. I appreciate and use modern technology. Running my own marketing communications business, I know well the value of modern media tools. In my personal life, however, I don’t wish to live the odd combination of transparent and calculated.

So, today, with reinforcement from a friend (no really, an actual, live friend whom I talk to on a regular basis and — gasp! — see in person), I quit Facebook.

With just a couple of clicks, I slipped out of the party. As with any good gathering, nobody noticed my departure. The party chatter continued as my 75 friends maintained an enviable pace of meandering amusements.

So long, my somewhat social network. It’s late. I’m tired. I’m returning to the antiquities of telephones, emails, and in-person gatherings in which real, live people share actual conversation.

Five years ago, when my husband and I were contemplating a move that would take us from urban center to remote, small town, a friend cheered us on. “Remote,” he said, “is the new luxury.”

With this recent disconnection, I’m going remote again. Accessibility has created a charade of meaningful connection. Within the one-line updates and clever banter, I’ve discovered I don’t really need to know so much about so little.

Comments

[Auburn]

Thanks, Drew, for bravely doing (or maybe it isn't brave at all, but rather, smart and wise) what I will also do ... tomorrow. Truly, fb is stealing my time, my precious energy and all it gives in return is a false sense of "platform building" when there's no real wood to build a tiny box, much less a platform. The sense of friendship it gives is distorted. I need real people, not little icons in the upper left corner of a one-sentence "connection."

It's said a swift cut is kinder than a slow knife. I'm glad to have found that old sharp blade I had put away in my drawer some time ago. It's now back to the work at hand of writing fiction and poetry rather than composing pithy one-liners meant to amuse people I don't even know.

[drew]

Auburn,
You say it so well:
"composing pithy one-liners meant to amuse people I don't even know."

Yes, exactly.

I'm sure FB is source of connection and fun for many, but I lack the willpower to visit randomly. I had to make the swift cut.

I'm with you. Back to 'real' writing. Who knows, maybe the blog gets the knife next. . .

[Auburn]

No, Drew. Don't kill the blog. I read it, I thrive upon it. Your blog gives me hope that poetry lives outside the confines of your ocean side community, the kids you teach, the good you do.

Please, don't kill the blog. I wouldn't know where next to go. Where would I find out about fibs?

[Nancy]

Thank you, Drew. I've been on the outside and odd because I don't do the Facebook and Twitter thing.

I already spend too much time on the box. I want to engage in real life more, and yes...by gum...to write more. The days go by so quickly.

With that said .. Please dear... Don't axe the blog. I enjoy it so. I find it very meaningful and a blessing, too.

Thank you!

[drew]

Thanks Nancy and Auburn,
I wasn't fishing for accolades -- but I'll take 'em. Thank you!

I suppose it's a balance I sekk -- between the shared and the private.

That said, it is heartwarming to hear this blog has readers. I am surprised and grateful.

thank you,
drew